9 days

Today was a hard day emotionally. One of those days where I’m sitting down for the whole day studying and wondering why the hell is my life like this at 23? And maybe I should have gone into dentistry.
I’ve got 9 more days until my usmle and it’s getting really rough to try and pull myself to study anymore. First of all, even though there are a ton of things I still don’t know, I am so sick of doing uworld. I can’t bring myself to read through the whole question, let alone all the explanations which makes me wonder if doing uworld is even helping me at this point. Then I go do a block of comquest and those questions seem much more harder to me even though the questions are shorter. When I get a question wrong in uworld, the right answer was usually my second choice. When I get something wrong in comquest it’s because I have no fucking clue what they’re even asking me. This makes me really nervous because I feel like I haven’t seen these concepts at all during my studying. Am I spending too much time focusing on the usmle? Am I going to be that unfortunate soul to pass my usmle but do terrible on the comlex?
So frustrating trying to study at this point. I’m going to take one more nbme (took 2 already + 1 comsae) and that’ll be my last one before the real thing next thursday. I’m really hoping I do better than my last score. I don’t expect to score 240+ at all because I know i’m not at that level but I just want to do better than my last nbme. Then i’ll feel confident for the real test. I’m going to push through this last week and remind myself that this is only one small time in my life and I have to give it all that i’ve got just for this short time. Then it’ll be all worth it (?).

On a totally different note, I started p90x. I know you’re not supposed to change up your lifestyle routine too dramatically near your test, but i’ve been working out pretty hard for the past couple of months and I’ve attempted p90x previously so I felt pretty good about starting it again. I’m only on day 2 of the classic program but I feel great! Last time I tried p90x (about a year ago) I didn’t have great endurance or strength so I started on the Lean program. Now, with a much better fitness base, I feel much better doing the exercises. My stats are NOT impressive really… I’m a 5’4” 100lb tiny female, but I can get through most of the exercises. I don’t own a pull up bar which makes up a huge part of chest & back workouts, but I just modify with free weight chest/back exercises and I still get a good workout. I’m also trying to modify my diet. I eat a pretty healthy diet, but I’m definitely a carb lover, so I’m trying to cut some of that out. Anyways, I’ve exercised regularly my whole life pretty much but I’m hoping that this program will really push me over my plateau.